My plants, as it turns out, are not dead. They were simply pretending and have recently begun to radiate my windowsill with life. This makes me happy, as I thought I was responsible for the death of five plants that have been with me for the last five years. Turns out they were just really cold.
In other news, just got back from recording some tracks for the Deep Soul demo (we are playing March 7 at the Hub, for those of you in the valley of cedars), and experienced that moment I think (hope, for my selfish sake) every musician recognizes when you hit a wall and are forced to admit you will not scale it immediately. Well, I hit the wall, and it stunned me and even got me a little upset, but I'm just going to go to bed and see how my horn and I are getting along tomorrow.
Ah, Monday. The day when I am forced to reckon with the fact that I have an office job. Some days are harder than others to reckon with my desk, to convince myself that it's just for the rent and won't be my permanent life. I am generally thankful that I have a job at all, as that is more than many can say at this point in time.
Whenever I get down about life I try to take a moment to send some positive vibes to others, to wish them luck in finding employment (as many friends of mine are currently hunting), to help them find peace in their meanings, and to provide a knowledge that I will always be there to lean on, as I would hope they would be there for me. After spending a few minutes focusing my energies towards others, I generally find the day approachable and more welcoming.
Oh yes, and this weekend marks my first six months in the Twin Cities. I couldn't be more pleased and excited about my life here. I think back to my first months here and absolutely cannot believe the progress I've made, not only with my life goals but also the ways that I have grown as a human being. I cannot express how it feels to be writing this right now, but I can express my firm belief that while we all go through some frighteningly trying times, battling life and our own minds and egos, there is so much to be learned through fighting those battles. I thought I knew exactly who I was when I graduated college. I thought I knew exactly who I was until I moved up here, actually. Then I learned that there were many things about me that I hated, that I feared, that I didn't understand at all. I was forced to examine these things and take a proactive role in my life for the first *real* time, ever. And while it still scares me and some days fills me with panic, I know that I have made the right decisions, have led myself down a path filled with surprising and beautiful things.
I wish you all serenity and love.